Needle in a Haystack
by kialajaray
Summary: They were often hard to find, those elusive needles.


**Hi, everyone. I know that I haven't written anything in a LONG time but school has just been so hectic for me that I honestly have not had the time this school year. But I doubt that I'm getting a job over break so hopefully I will be able to write more.**

**This idea has been in my head to write for over a year, its just that I never got a chance to sit down and write it. I hope that you like it.**

* * *

"Only I would be in here talking to you instead of out having fun like the rest of my friends are doing," Helga said gently to a horse, named River according the plaque above his head.

"I mean it's our senior trip. Senior trip! Basically the last thing, other than Prom, that we're going to do together so I should be out jumping in the lake and going for hikes like everyone else right," she asked the horse as she rubbed his nose. "Rhonda was even nice enough to convince her parents to let us use one of their vacation houses. We have two stinking weeks for unsupervised fun so why am I hiding in a barn?"

As if sensing Helga's question, River whinnied.

"No, it's not that," she told the horse. "I don't care if Arnold and Lila have been spending more time with each other lately. That ship sailed a _long_ time ago."

River snorted.

"Well maybe if hasn't," Helga conceded to the horse. "But what am I supposed to do? Stay pining over him until I'm old and frail?"

When River didn't 'say' anything back to Helga, just munched on the carrots she held out to him, she sighed.

"I can't believe I've resorted to talking to a horse about my Arnold issues," she told him.

After letting him finish the carrots in her hand she gave his head a final pat and walked away from him, exploring the barn.

After walking around for a few moments Helga found a ladder that lead up to the loft of the barn. Climbing up, she looked around and saw that other than the hay that covered the floor of the loft there was nothing there except for a window that let some of the sunshine of the day into the barn.

Walking over to the window she lay down and positioned herself so that the sun shined on her and she could look out the window.

She knew that she shouldn't be that surprised that she had talked to a horse about her issues about Arnold. She had once talked to a watermelon shrine in his resemblance. Compared to that most people would think talking to a horse was _normal_.

Phoebe would have offered to be a listening ear for her best friend but Phoebe already had her own problems to deal with. She was by far the smartest freaking girl in the school so of course she was going to an Ivy League college and while Gerald, her boyfriend of three years now, wasn't dumb at all, he was far away from Ivy League potential and with roughly four months before they had to go away to college the couple was finally addressing the fact that they would have to make the decision to either try at a long distance relationship or to end things.

The last thing Pheebs needed was for her to start her stupid and useless rantings about Arnold. She was still holding out on the hope that the whole permanently out of sight permanently out of mind thing was going to work because she was going to be honest, fifteen years is a_ really _long time to be in love with someone who you've never been in a relationship with.

What chance did she really have? Lila was a synonym for absolute perfection to Arnold. Helga was pretty sure that her hopes were completely dashed when they were freshman and she heard Arnold tell Gerald that Lila's name meant you are mine.

"Its fate," she remembered him telling his best friend. "What are the odds of me falling for a girl whose name means that?"

And to add insult to injury they both 'mysteriously' decided to go to the same college.

Helga could just see it now. Friends all through high school, best friends in college, fall in love sometime during college, get married within two years of graduating, and then riding off into the sunset together.

"They're a bigger cliché than I am," she said out loud with only a touch of bitterness.

"Helga," she heard a voice say in confusion from below her.

"Up here," she called not bothering to move from her spot in the window's sunlight.

Hearing someone climb up the ladder she tilted her head back until that all too familiar football shaped head came into view.

"Hey," she said shortly and looked back at the clouds passing out the window.

"Hey," he replied as he walked across the wood towards her, feeling the planks slightly shake beneath her.

"How come you aren't out with everyone else," he asked her when he reached her.

She shrugged, letting the hay she was laying on shift around her. "Nadine's to much Wilderness Girl for me to be able to keep up with her on a hike, I don't feel like going in the lake and riding horses has never been my strong suit. I could ask you the same thing."

"I was looking for Gerald actually," he told her. "Have you seen him?"

"Last time I saw him he was with Phoebe and they were going off to the lake about two hours ago," she said, her eyes still locked on the sky outside.

"Oh," he said. "I wanted to tell him something."

Helga forced herself to suppress the sigh the formed in her throat. Masochist. She had to be a masochist to even ask what she was about to ask.

"What did you need to tell him," she heard herself ask.

Yep, definitely a masochist.

Glancing at him, she saw his face break out into a huge smile. Looking back to the sky outside the window, she braced herself for what she knew was coming.

"It's about me and Lila," he said from above her, happiness just oozing from his voice. "We've been spending a lot of time together talking and everything," Helga could just imagine what that _everything_ meant. "And we thought that we would give getting together a try."

She was sure that the fact that she didn't feel her heart breaking meant that she was desensitized to it by now.

Still not taking her eyes off of the sky she said, "Congratulations. I know how much you care about her. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks."

As Helga continued to look at the window she saw him glance between her and the window from the corner of her eye.

"So…," he said, obviously looking for something to start a conversation with. "What are you doing up here?"

"Just watching the clouds go by and thinking."

"What you thinking about," he asked as he sat down next to her. He probably took her scooting over as her letting him look out the window with her but in actuality she didn't think that she could bear touching him.

"Needles," she told him as he lay down next to her.

"What about them?"

"Needles in haystacks," she said as she let the hay on the floor fall between her fingers as she played with it.

"Alright, I'm confused."

"I was just thinking about how hard it really would be to actually find one."

Arnold was quiet for awhile and stared out of the window with her and Helga didn't think that he would answer her when he said, "I think that if you actually tried and had the patience to look you could find it."

"Or," she countered. "You could over look it because you're so busy trying to make sure that the hay is not the actual needle that you look over the needle."

"It could prick you while you're looking for it," Arnold said. "You would have found it then."

"Maybe," Helga said. "But maybe it could prick you and you push it away, not realizing what it was and you never find it again. Or you could be so used to the hay that you won't even realize the needle when you see it."

Sitting up, Arnold looked down at her and said, "I know it would practically be impossible, but I think that if you were dedicated enough you could find it."

Turning her head towards him, she said, "Scientifically speaking, a person looking for a needle in a haystack would probably never find it, even if it was right in front of them. It would most likely be over looked regardless of where it was placed in the haystack. It's even possible that they could have a piece of hay and think that it's the needle by the time that they realize that it really isn't the needle they have no chance of ever finding it again."

Arnold stared down at her for a few moments and said, "Are we still talking about needles in haystacks?"

Turning her head, Helga looked back out the window and watched a cloud, that was ironically shaped like a heart, slowly drift by.

"Of course we are. What else would we be talking about?"

* * *

**Helga lied to Arnold. She was talking about love the whole time and not about needles and haystacks with her being the needle. I know that the story kind of took a left turn when they started describing it and honestly I've had a million different things that they would have said in my head but I forgot most of them (probably because I'm about to fall over asleep) and I just really wanted to publish this already. **

**I know that its kind of angsty but I wanted to get out of my comfort zone with Helga and Arnold being together (and personal experiences have affected it also) but I hope that everyone liked it. Please leave me a review and tell me what you think. **

**I have an idea for another one shot but I can't give a certain date that I can have it published because finals are coming up and I need to study for them. Thanks for reading!**


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